


equilateral

by chanyeolanda



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ficmix, M/M, Pre-Poly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanyeolanda/pseuds/chanyeolanda
Summary: they say the road to hell paved with good intentions.sometimes its just a small detour through an especially humid greenhouse, though, and it'll probably all work out.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 55
Collections: K-Pop Ficmix 2020





	equilateral

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Isosceles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18701170) by [bitsori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori). 



> thank you so much to the original author for their wonderful source material - i thoroughly enjoyed reading through all your fics to find one to remix <3

\--

_remember me i ask, remember me i sing_

_give me back my heart you wingless thing_

the amazing devil, "the horror and the wild"

\--

'so,' hyunjin says as they wait for 3racha to go on stage, 'since when do you speak informally with changbin hyung?' his tone is light, mildly curious.

seungmin shrugs. 'just. you know. we live in the same area now, see each other around. he showed me around the neighbourhood, we started hanging out.'

'you never mentioned,' hyunjin says.

'it... felt like it might be an awkward subject,' seungmin admits.

hyunjin nods. 'i get... why you might think that. so... you're friends?'

seungmin makes an uncertain noise. 'i guess, yeah. if... you're okay with that.'

'what?' hyunjin says, 'of course i'm okay with that! all i ever wanted was for you two to get along. even if it's... different now, why wouldn't i be okay with two of my favourite people in the world being friends?'

seungmin laughs, trying to keep the faint nervousness out of it. 'yeah,' he says, 'why wouldn't you.'

hyunjin grins at him and nudges him with his shoulder. 'i'm glad i don't have to rely on jisung to stay in contact with hyung.'

seungmin's laugh is genuine at that.

it's easier than seungmin thought it would be; hanging out with both hyunjin and changbin. he's missed hyunjin, obviously, and has thoroughly enjoyed the time they've managed to carve out together in the last week, but he's been caught off guard by how much he's missed changbin. he hadn't realised how much changbin had wormed his way into his life.

in a way, it's a relief to know that hyunjin is okay with them being friends - _wants_ them to be friends. it's one thing he doesn't have to feel bad about.

the other part... he's not quite ready to bring that up just yet. he's not sure he ever will be.

there's a pang, sometimes, as he looks at hyunjin and changbin laughing with each other as if no time has passed. it's hard not to, when hyunjin's entire body curls towards changbin, his eyes curved with adoration, looking at changbin like he hung the stars. impossible not to, when changbin is looking like a sunflower reaching out for the sunshine of hyunjin's smile, an almost surprised satisfaction seeming to emanate from him when he realises he's got it.

but then hyunjin turns his brilliant smile on seungmin and implores him to be on his side in whatever silly little argument he and changbin are currently having; but then changbin turns to seungmin and gives him a comforting quirk of his lips and a little wink as hyunjin gets involved in the story he's winding about his time in manila, and the little pang disappears.

he doesn't feel out of place, doesn't feel like he's intruding, and he's surprised at how comfortable it feels.

'that was fun,' hyunjin says later, relaxed and content. 'it was really good seeing changbin hyung again.'

'yeah,' seungmin says, not sure if he's imagining the wistfulness in hyunjin's voice or not. 'you two looked... well. happy.'

seungmin doesn't miss hyunjin's happy little smile.

'i've missed him,' he admits, 'just... as a person, you know. i thought it would hurt more, seeing him. but... ' hyunjin shrugs and laughs a little. 'he just makes it so easy, you know?'

seungmin nods. 'yeah, he's good at that.'

hyunjin giggles. 'sorry, it's just... i keep forgetting you guys are friends now.' he smiles at seungmin, warm and happy. 'i'm so happy you are.'

seungmin gives hyunjin a smile. _you think too highly of me,_ he thinks.

'is he-' hyunjin hesitates. 'is he happy?'

'uh,' seungmin stalls, 'i mean. we haven't really... hung out for a while, but... i think so?'

hyunjin nods. 'that's good. that's good.' he's quiet, almost contemplative for a few moments, and seungmin watches him out the corner of his eye as he smooths down a blanket. hyunjin shakes his head briefly and turns to smile at seungmin. 'we have to do it again before i leave.'

'do- hang out with him again?' seungmin asks, caught slightly off guard, and hyunjin nods eagerly.

'yeah, like we did tonight. maybe... we can get chicken? hang out here?'

'yeah,' seungmin says, 'that sounds great.'

hyunjin beams, and seungmin's heart skips a beat.

it's three days before hyunjin's flight, they've polished off a few boxes of chicken, and seungmin's relaxed.

it feels normal, being with hyunjin, being with changbin, and he forgets why he was nervous about it.

hyunjin's slipped off to the bathroom when changbin flops onto the couch next to seungmin, slinging his arm on to the backrest.

'hello,' he says brightly, and seungmin raises an eyebrow at him, trying not to let his amusement show.

'greeting again?' he asks, 'forget i was here?'

'never,' changbin declares, 'impossible.' he winks at seungmin. 'i was talking to the couch.'

'the couch,' seungmin repeats.

'i'm very fond of this couch.' changbin grins at him. 'remember the last time i was on this couch?'

seungmin wets his lips with his tongue.

he does remember. vividly.

'you're incorrigible,' is what he says.

changbin laughs, and crosses his legs. seungmin tried not to focus on how warm changbin's thigh is where its leaning heavily against his.

'i have missed you,' changbin says and seungmin ignores the warmth he feels at those words to narrow his eyes at changbin teasingly.

'not just what we did on the couch?'

changbin's eyebrows quirk. 'you think i only like you for your body?'

seungmin shrugs. 'well, you didn't answer the question, so... what am i supposed to think?'

changbin fakes a gasp. 'kim seungmin, are you flirting with me?'

seungmin shakes his head. 'no.'

'not even a little?'

seungmin shakes his steadfastly and changbin laughs.

'i don't just miss your body,' changbin says, tongue in cheek, and seungmin scrunches his nose up in embarrassment. 'although,' changbin continues with a teasing smirk, 'you really do know how to use your body.' seungmin shoots him a lighthearted glare.

'he does, doesn't he,' says hyunjin, standing the doorway, an indecipherable look on his face.

seungmin can't keep the guilt off of his face as he looks up, at both hyunjin and at changbin's surprised look at him.

seungmin can only avoid one gaze. he chooses changbin's.

he can't figure out hyunjin's look, can't figure out just how bad he's supposed to feel about.

(it's very. he feels very bad.)

'you guys really are close now,' hyunjin says, his voice quiet. there's a note in it seungmin can't identify, and it puts him on edge. seungmin feels the warmth of changbin's leg leave his.

hyunjin's not looking at changbin, holding seungmin's gaze.

he can't bring himself to look away, even as his stomach is churning.

'uh,' changbin says hesitantly, 'i think i should... maybe go? yeah, i should go.'

'you don't have to,' hyunjin says.

'mm, no, i think... yeah, it's late,' changbin says.

it's barely eight.

(seungmin's very aware hyunjin still hasn't looked at changbin.)

hyunjin doesn't bring it up, although his mood remains off as they silently clean up.

seungmin's about to say goodnight when hyunjin stops him with a hand on his lapel.

'hyunjin?' seungmin says, 'what are-'

his words are cut off by hyunjin kissing him.

it's strangely familiar for something that hasn't happened often. familiar, and yet different.

it's not as light, there's something else driving hyunjin, but seungmin can't help but kiss back, to let hyunjin pull him close and into the bedroom.

it's only when hyunjin starts to pull seungmin onto the bed that seungmin pulls away.

'hyunjin- hyunjin, wait- this isn't-'

'isn't what,' hyunjin says, trying to pull seungmin back. 'it's nothing we haven't done before.'

'this- you're just doing this to-'

'i'm not doing this to do anything except get off,' hyunjin interrupts, 'it's just sex, right?'

seungmin's breath catches as the comment cuts him to his core.

'like you and changbin hyung?' hyunjin continues, 'was that just sex? or... ' hyunjin's voice wobbles a bit. 'or was that more?'

'you're angry,' seungmin says, fighting to keep his voice steady. 'you're angry, and i- i get that-'

'you never told me,' hyunjin says.

'how could i?' seungmin says quietly, 'i never meant- i never meant for it to happen.'

'sleeping with my ex-boyfriend, or me finding out?'

seungmin looks down at the floor. 'either? i guess.'

hyunjin sniffs into the silence, and it takes seungmin a few beats before he can look up.

'i'm sorry,' he says, 'i-' he can't explain himself. not really. 'i'm sorry. we- we stopped, a few weeks ago.'

hyunjin looks at seungmin. 'it happened more than once?'

seungmin opens his mouth and then closes it, chooses to silently nod instead.

hyunjin nods and looks up at the ceiling briefly.

'how many times?' he asks.

'i-' seungmin shrugs helplessly. 'i don't know.'

hyunjin gives a humourless, hopeless laugh. 'that many, huh?'

'i don't have an excuse,' seungmin says, 'i don't know what to say to make this better.'

hyunjin's silent for a few moments. 'nothing,' he says, 'you say nothing to make it better.'

seungmin's heart rises into his throat and he's momentarily lost for words.

'hyunjin,' he starts, 'please - i understand if you need time, but please don't - i can't lose you.'

hyunjin's shaking his head before he even finishes, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. 'no, that's - no, you can't lose me, don't - i mean you shouldn't have to say anything to make it better, it's not - i broke up with him, i broke up with him, and we're broken up, i have no say in what he- _who_ he-' he breaks off, and shifts in faint distress, seeming frustrated at - his words, himself, seungmin isn't sure. 'i wasn't even in the _country_ , how can i be upset at you two, for-' he shakes his head again. 'do you- do you like him?'

it's a few beats before seungmin answers. 'it doesn't matter.'

'yes, it does,' hyunjin says, 'because - i just want both of you to be happy, and if you make each other happy - i live in manila, i'm not _here_ , how can i stop you two from- i can't be that selfish.'

'it doesn't matter,' seungmin repeats, 'because i- i know how you still feel about him.'

'and if you feel the same way about him then i don't want you to hold back on my account, so it _does_ matter, it _does_.' hyunjin's voice is upset, but sincere. 'so, please, just- don't lie to me. do you like him?'

'maybe,' seungmin relents, 'but it _doesn't_ matter. so i like him, maybe he likes me, we never... discussed anything, seriously, because it- because at the end of the day, the both of us are just two people...' seungmin takes a deep breath. 'two people still in love with the same someone who lives in another country.'

hyunjin's lips part in surprise. 'both...?' he whispers.

seungmin nods. 'yeah. so. it doesn't matter.' he swallows. 'you take the bed tonight,' he says, 'i'm going-' he gestures vaguely behind him. 'somewhere.'

'seungmin-' hyunjin starts.

'we can talk tomorrow,' seungmin says, 'i promise, just. good night.'

'good night,' hyunjin echoes softly.

\--

_i don't know, but i'm here, i'm all yours, dear heart, don't cry_

_'cause i will wait and hope_

the amazing devil, "marbles"

\--

changbin keeps glancing at his phone, although he's really not expecting anything. he feels a bit bad, leaving like he did, but despite hyunjin's token protests, it really was time for him to leave.

he's not quite sure what to do with the revelation that seungmin and hyunjin had slept together. he thinks maybe he should feel more upset about it, more jealous, but he doesn't.

he's not obtuse, he's able to admit his own feelings. he's still in love with hyunjin, he knows that, and seeing him again only confirmed it.

he still really likes seungmin, he knows that too.

he knows what he wants, but the look in hyunjin's eyes when he looked at seungmin before he left made him think it wasn't quite time to voice it yet.

he puts his phone down again with a sigh.

'changbin,' comes chan's voice.

'yeah, hyung?' he calls back.

'you've got a guest.'

there are very few people changbin is friends with who _aren't_ friends with chan as well, so his confusion at the hyperspecific _you_ is justified, he thinks.

he blinks with surprise when he opens his bedroom door to see seungmin standing there.

'hey,' he says, 'what are you doing here? you okay?'

'not really,' seungmin says, 'hyunjin and i... had a bit of a fight, i think.'

'are you two... okay?' changbin says, concerned, standing back to let seungmin into his room.

'yeah, i - probably. yeah, we'll be fine. i just... needed... some space? just for a bit. i'll go back later.' seungmin makes himself comfortable on changbin's bed, and looks up at changbin after a moment. 'is it... okay that i came here?'

'yeah, of course,' changbin says, and means it. he situates himself at the end of the bed. figures might as well. 'so. i didn't know you and hyunjin had slept together.'

'picked up on that, huh,' seungmin comments, a vague bitterness in his voice. he exhales. 'when he moved to the phillipines, i went to help him get settled in. it just happened the once. we... never really spoke about it.'

'well, if that happened, i guess he told you about the feelings he - used to have for you,' changbin says, his voice casual, and seungmin looks up from where he's picking at the blankets in surprise.

'he told _you_ i was his first love?' seungmin's voice is vaguely disbelieving and changbin coughs.

'well, i mean, he called it a crush, when he told me, but..."

seungmin shuts his eyes and groans. 'i'm just fucking everything up tonight,' he mutters, and changbin stretched out his leg to nudge seungmin's foot.

'hey, no, why would you think that? i opened my mouth earlier and spilled the beans to hyunjin, and... i mean, it's not that much of a stretch from a hopeless crush to first love, not when it's hyunjin.' changbin hopes his voice is reassuring, but seungmin doesn't seem very comforted, picking the lint of the blanket with some force.

'i told him,' seungmin says quietly.

changbin waits a few beats. 'like... before?' he ventures, 'cos he seemed kinda surprised to me.'

seungmin gives a faint laugh. 'not that, god, no, i was never going to tell him about us.' seungmin shakes his head. 'no, i...' he takes a deep breath. 'i told him i'm in love with him.' it comes out in a rush, like its difficult for him to say, and changbin suspects that's because it still is.

'ah.' changbin nods. 'so that's why you're here.'

'why did i do that,' seungmin whispers.

'i can't answer that.' changbin considers reaching out to comfort seungmin, but he's not sure that would be the right move at this moment. 'how did he react?'

seungmin shrugs. 'i left before he really could.'

changbin makes a noise of understanding.

there's a few moments of silence before changbin cannot hold back any more.

'did he say anything about... you know... us?' he asks cautiously.

seungmin doesn't move, and then he nods.

'have i lost every opportunity to be his friend?' changbin asks wryly and seungmin shakes his head. changbin makes a noise of vague surprise.

'i told him you're still in love with him too,' seungmin says, sounding vaguely regretful. 'i'm sorry.'

changbin blinks. 'it's okay,' he says, 'i figured that was pretty obvious, anyway. i wasn't really trying to hide it.'

seungmin gives changbin a grateful glance.

'i'm surprised you came here,' changbin says with a soft smile and seungmin laughs a little.

'so am i,' he admits.

'so, will we be allowed to be friends again now?' changbin asks, gently teasing.

seungmin's smile fades the slightest bit.

'guess that depends on how my talk with hyunjin goes tomorrow,' he says ruefully.

'i'm sure it'll be fine,' changbin assures him. 'he loves you.'

seungmin's smile is tight, a little bitter. 'yeah,' he mutters, and changbin thinks it's probably the most honest he's allowed himself to be about showing his feelings. 'i know. he's my best friend. at least i have that, i guess.'

changbin keeps quiet, doesn't mention that he thinks seungmin might be underestimating things.

maybe that's just wishful thinking on his part, though, for reasons he's not sure he should be considering.

changbin's surprised when he gets the invite to what jisung is calling the _fuck off, hyunjin, we're going to have fun and see you off in style cos you wouldn't let us last time_ party (which is really just dinner and noraebang), but he supposes as far as jisung knows he and hyunjin are on good terms. after all, the last time jisung had seen them together, was at the 3racha gig, and they _were_ fine then.

maybe they're still fine now, changbin isn't sure. he hasn't spoken to hyunjin since that night, the memory of hyunjin not looking at him heavy on his mind.

he goes anyway.

it's a lot later in the night when changbin actually ends up talking to hyunjin.

they'd all moved on from alcohol to coffee, and found an empty play park to chill in as the evening wound down, and hyunjin flops down next to changbin in the pagoda he'd settled in.

'hey, hyung,' he says and changbin gives him a smile.

'hey. how're you doing?'

hyunjin shrugs. 'coffee's helping.' he's silent for a few moments, and changbin's just starting to wonder what conversation to start when he speaks again. 'i'm going to miss everyone. i do miss everyone. not that i don't like the phillipines, i do, i just... i get homesick, you know.'

'who do you miss the most?' changbin says, keeping his voice purposefully lighthearted. 'kkami?'

hyunjin snorts. 'yeah,' he admits, 'definitely kkami.'

changbin laughs and nudges hyunjin's shoulder with his own.

'i'm glad you came tonight, hyung,' hyunjin says softly.

'i wasn't sure you would be,' changbin replies, just as softly.

'why not?' hyunjin says, looking at changbin and changbin raises an eyebrow. 'oh.'

'i'm... sorry. that you found out the way you did.'

hyunjin worries at his lip. 'would you have told me? if we'd hung out alone?'

changbin thinks about it.

(he doesn't really need to.)

'i don't know,' he says. 'probably not.'

hyunjin nods. 'yeah. seungmin basically said the same thing.'

'neither of us wanted to hurt you. it's the last thing i want to do. last thing seungmin wants to do.'

hyunjin heaves a sigh. 'you know him well, now, i guess.'

'i can pretend otherwise, if you want,' changbin offers and hyunjin shakes his head.

'hyung-' he starts and then falls silent.

changbin isn't sure he wants him to continue.

'do you like him?' of course, what changbin wants doesn't matter in this scenario.

'yeah,' he says, easily, 'i like all my friends.'

he doesn't need to look at hyunjin to know exactly what exasperated face he's pulling.

'you know what i mean,' hyunjin says, 'do you _like_ him?'

changin doesn't want to lie to hyunjin, but he doesn't really want to tell him the truth either.

'he told me he told you he's in love with you,' he says instead.

hyunjin's quiet for a few beats. 'yeah, he did. i... wasn't expecting it.'

'he told me he told you i'm still in love with you as well,' changbin continues.

'are you?' hyunjin asks, and changbin tilts his head to look at him, gaze soft, hoping he doesn't have to say it.

hyunjin seems to get it, because he gives a sad smile.

'he also told me he likes you,' hyunjin says and changbin's eyes widen.

'he did?' changbin doesn't think he could hide the surprise in his voice even if he tried.

hyunjin nods. 'yeah, he did. he didn't want to tell me, but he did. so... do you like him?'

'please don't make me answer that, hyunjin,' changbin pleads quietly. 'i don't want to do that to you.'

hyunjin's breath hitches slightly and he nods. 'okay. if you promise to answer my next question.'

changbin scrunches up his nose as he wonders how much he's screwed himself over before replying cautiously, 'okay?'

'does he make you happy?'

'does he -' changbin repeats and trails off.

'does being with him make you happy?' hyunjin repeats, refines.

'being with him, like...' changbin attempts to clarify, skirt the topic.

'just being with him,' hyunjin says, 'as friends, as...' he waves a hand. 'whatever.'

changbin waits one breath, two. 'yes,' he admits, 'but-'

'i still live in the phillipines,' hyunjin interrupts, 'and i don't think i'm going to be moving back anytime soon. so if that _but_ has anything to do with me, i want you to forget it.'

'i can't do that,' changbin says.

'yes, you can,' hyunjin insists, 'you must.' he worries at his lip again. 'i just want you to be happy. both of you. and if you make each other happy, then... then i want you make each other happy.'

'but it won't make you happy,' changbin points out, 'and if you're not happy, then i'm not happy.'

hyunjin hums. 'you'll get over that.'

'i haven't yet,' changbin points out. hyunjin looks at him with an expression changbin doesn't want to read.

'i missed you,' hyunjin says, instead of whatever his eyes were saying. 'so much.'

'i missed you too,' changbin says, 'a painful amount.'

'did seungmin help that?' hyunjin asks and changbin breathes out a laugh.

'you're not going to drop it, are you?' he remarks wryly and hyunjin's hair flops in his face as he shakes his head.

'no, i'm not.'

changbin laughs.

'i'm serious,' hyunjin says, his voice quiet and sincere, 'if - if you don't want to, fine, but don't make that decision because you think you're hurting me. if you want to, i want you to.'

'you seemed upset the other night when you found out,' changbin points out, 'i can't just ignore that.'

'yeah,' hyunjin says, 'i... it was a lot. i wasn't expecting it, it caught me off guard. but... i've had some time to think about it now, and... and i want you to know that i'm... okay with it.'

'that doesn't sound very convincing,' changbin points out, quietly amused.

'i'm not lying,' hyunjin insists, 'maybe... maybe my heart is taking a little bit of time to catch up with my mind, but i really do mean it.'

'okay,' changbin says, 'i believe you.'

'really?' hyunjin's voice is hopeful, mostly.

'well, i believe you believe what you're saying,' changbin amends, and hyunjin makes a frustrated sound.

changbin doesn't try to hide his grin as he looks at a bug flying into a streetlight and pretends not to feel hyunjin's glare.

'can i ask you a question now?' changbin asks, glancing sideways at hyunjin, and hyunjin nods, eyes earnest. changbin tries not to let the flutter of his lips attempting to smile give him away. 'what was it like for you? sleeping with seungmin. since you had that crush on him and all.'

hyunjin sputters and hits changbin.

'what!' changbin exclaims, laughing, 'i answered your questions!'

'why would you ask me that!' hyunjin whines.

'was it everything you imagined?' changbin half-teases, kind of curious as to what he wants the answer to be.

'shut up, i'm not answering that,' hyunjin says, his face in his hands, and changbin laughs, slinging an arm over his shoulders and pulling him in for a hug.

'hey, when you go back, don't be a stranger, okay?' changbin murmurs.

'it's not like i was the only one,' hyunjin mumbles after a few moments and changbin tilts his head in acknowledgement.

'yeah, that's fair. but... i think i might be ready to change that?'

changbin feels hyunjin shift, lean his head on his shoulder.

'yeah,' hyunjin says softly, 'i'd like that.'

`**spearbee:** hey  
**cherrymin:** hey hyung  
**spearbee:** you eaten?  
**cherrymin:** it's 8pm  
**cherrymin:** yes  
**spearbee:** oh  
**spearbee:** you want coffee?  
**cherrymin:** i'm in my pjs  
**spearbee:** i'll bring it to you?  
**cherrymin:** what did you do  
**spearbee:** you want the coffee or not  
**cherrymin:** yes pls`

'so,' changbin says once the coffees have been drunk, 'hyunjin's back in manila, huh.'

'i saw your comment on his insta post,' seungmin says, 'saw he replied as well.'

'yeah,' changbin says, 'we said we'd try stay in touch. be friends.'

seungmin nods. 'like us?' he asks.

'are we friends again?' changbin replies.

'you bought me coffee,' seungmin responds, as if that's an answer. changbin supposes it is.

'you never said what hyunjin said about us sleeping together,' changbin decides to say.

seungmin hesitates, and changbin knows seungmin got the same talk as he did.

'he's not angry,' seungmin finally says and changbin can't help but smile.

'no, he doesn't seem to be,' changbin agrees amiably. 'he told me he was okay with it.'

'no, he didn't,' seungmin says immediately.

'okay, no, he didn't,' changbin concedes, 'but he did say that we... should? that was the gist of it, anyway. kind of.'

'you got that talk too, huh.' seungmin's expression is nuanced, and changbin's not sure he can decipher it.

'the _i just want you two to be happy_ one? yeah,' changbin laughs.

seungmin wets his lip with his tongue.

'doesn't mean we should,' he says and changbin nods.

'of course.'

'it would be a very bad idea.'

'catastrophic.'

'it would still hurt him.'

'obviously.'

they sit there in silence for a minute or so, changbin picking at the edge of his coffee cup.

'so is this a booty call?' seungmin asks, voice suspiciously casual.

'do you want it to be?' changbin asks.

'it's a bad idea.'

'that wasn't the question.'

one, two, three heartbeats and then seungmin's kissing changbin, and changbin's kissing back, relishing the bitter coffee he can taste on seungmin's tongue, his hands refamiliarising themselves with the feel of his waist, his thighs, his ass.

'this is a very bad idea,' seungmin whispers against his lips when their shirts have been lost somewhere on the floor, 'right?'

'he did give it his blessing,' changbin murmurs back, thumb brushing against seungmin's nipple.

'he did,' seungmin concedes, kissing up changbin's jaw, 'he did.'

'we don't have to tell him just yet.' changbin's voice is patchy after he breaks away from kissing seungmin.

seungmin holds his gaze.

'no,' he says, 'guess we don't.'

\--

_i know the kindest thing_

_is to never leave you alone_

the amazing devil, "the rockrose and the thistle"

\--

`**hwanghj:** minnie~ what r u doing rn  
**cherrymin:** m gathering the energy to get out of bed  
**hwanghj:** wanna videocall?  
**cherrymin:** yeah let's `

hyunjin absentmindedly hums along to the drone of the aircon as he waits for seungmin to accept the video call. it's been a few months since he'd last seen his friend in person, but videocalls take the edge off a bit.

he smiles when seungmin's face fills up his phone screen, sleepy and ensconced in blankets.

'hey,' he greets, 'you're in bed late.'

'mm,' seungmin hums, his voice still a little rough from sleep, in a way that send a wellworn delicious little thrill through hyunjin. 'had a bit of a late night. just been busy and tired in general recently. school, work, you know.'

'good you got a day to sleep in,' hyunjin says, settling back on his own pillows. 'you look comfy.'

'i am,' seungmin yawns, and hyunjin smiles.

he misses this. misses seeing seungmin in the morning, misses them shambling around each other as they got ready for the day. misses seungmin.

seungmin shifts, reaches to something off screen, and hyunjin sees a bit of the room as the camera twists and turns before settling down again, seungmin in frame again, bottle of water in hand. hyunjin's forehead creases.

'where are you?' he asks and seungmin freezes.

hyunjin thinks that confirms his suspicion, but he asks anyway.

'is that changbin hyung's room?'

the guilt is written all over seungmin's face clear as day, and a weird heaviness is present in the pit of hyunjin's stomach.

it's what he hoped for, kind of. he still thinks it would be easier than knowing changbin was seeing a stranger. maybe. he doesn't know anymore.

it doesn't hurt as much as he thought it would though, and he's grateful for that. he feels a little bad about making seungmin feel so guilty. he had given them the go ahead, after all.

he puts on a smile actually isn't fake.

'does he still have the munchlax?' he asks and seungmin seems to relax the slightest bit.

'ah, yeah,' seungmin says, 'its... on the floor right now.'

hyunjin laughs.

'i couldn't have sex with it watching either,' he says and is rewarded with seungmin turning tomato red.

'i can't believe you just said that,' seungmin says as hyunjin laughs.

'is there another reason for you to be in hyung's bed?' he asks, his amusement coating the weight in his stomach he's trying to ignore.

'this is weird,' seungmin says, burying his face in the blanket.

'good weird or bad weird?' hyunjin asks.

'just... weird.' seungmin's voice is muffled.

hyunjin gets it. he's still trying to decide himself.

(hyunjin lies in bed after he hangs up and thinks about it. seungmin hadn't tried to hide it, not that there would have been any point. he thinks it says a lot, that seungmin is comfortable enough in changbin's bed to forget he's there, to forget hyunjin would recognise he's not at home, to call hyunjin anyway without any regard to where he is.

the weight in the pit of his stomach is still there, but he's not sure how much of it is because it's actually happening, or because of how long it's clearly been happening without him knowing.

he wonders how long they waited. a day, week, a month? he wonders if they waited at all.

he wonders where they spend most of their time. if they go out, go to restaurants, go on _dates_ , he supposes. if they spend more time at changbin's place, where there's a roommate around - though he knows chan is great, as far as roommates go - or if they spend more time at seungmin's apartment; where they're alone.

his breath catches as he wonders if they capitalise on the solitude, occupy the living room, or spend all their time in the bedroom. how they _work_ when they're alone together.

he wonders, wonders, _wonders_.)

`**spearbee** has added **cherrymin, hwanghj**  
**hwanghj:** what  
**cherrymin:** hyung insisted  
**hwanghj:** why  
**spearbee:** why not  
**hwanghj:** ........  
**hwanghj:** i guess  
**spearbee:** now you two can talk about me with me  
**hwanghj:** who says we talk about you  
**spearbee:** seungmin  
**hwanghj:** min!  
**cherrymin:** i never said that  
**spearbee:** now that we've established you *do* talk about me  
**spearbee:** hi hyunjin how are you  
**hwanghj:** im very good thanks hyung how r u  
**spearbee:** awful  
**spearbee:** distraught  
**spearbee:** suffering  
**spearbee:** i'm surprised you havent heard  
**hwanghj:** ????  
**hwanghj:** omg what happened r u ok?  
**spearbee:** physically yes  
**spearbee:** jisung caught min and me kissing yesterday tho and he's been insufferable  
**hwanghj:** oh  
**cherrymin:** it's been  
**cherrymin:** a trial  
**hwanghj:** he didn't know?  
**cherrymin:** no one does  
**cherrymin:** except you  
**spearbee:** did  
**spearbee:** no one did  
**spearbee:** everyone knows now  
**spearbee:** i'm surprised jisung hasn't taken out a billboard yet  
**spearbee:** hacked the emergency alert system and sent a notice to everyone's phone  
**spearbee:** he's threatening to write a song about it  
**hwanghj:** i for one would love to hear it`

'so are you guys dating?' hyunjin asks.

seungmin's in his own place this time, sprawled out across his couch.

'no,' he says, 'no, we're not - we're just -' he gives an awkward kind of shrug. 'you know.'

hyunjin isn't sure how he feels about seungmin's answer.

'right,' he says, as if he does.

seungmin is more comfortable talking about him and changbin now, though he's not entirely un-awkward about certain topics.

hyunjin doesn't get quite as big of a pang as he did before when he thinks about it. something's changed for him about it, and he's not quite sure what.

not sure he wants to examine it too closely.

sometimes he wonders if they talk about him. _when_ they might talk about him. it's a path he's scared of going down, because he's not sure he sees a way back if he does.

sometimes he thinks changbin's flirting with him. sometimes he thinks _seungmin's_ flirting with him, maybe, he's really not sure. he doesn't know what seungmin flirting looks like.

he doesn't know whether the group chat is a blessing or a curse. he doesn't know whether he wants to be included in the (kind of sort of maybe not really but also probably) unit that is seungmin and changbin or if it would be easier to not be.

it's feels natural, too natural, to message the chat as if he's with them (geographically, that is, mostly), to fall back into old habits of how he used to talk to changbin when they were dating, and sometimes he wants to backtrack, because _oh god that was too flirtatious wasn't it_ \- but neither of them seem to mind, or even seem to acknowledge it, and he doesn't know what to think.

he misses them more and more every day, and he's not sure when he started thinking of them as a them rather than seungmin and changbin.

it's about 4 in the morning, and hyunjin thinks he can't possibly be hearing a knock on his door.

except; there it is again, and he hauls himself out of bed and stands in front of it, squinting in confusion, still not convinced.

he thinks he hears hushed voices.

it's only when there's yet another knock on the door that he accepts this is happening.

he's cautious when opening the door, peering out warily first before his eyes grow wide and he opens it fully.

'what,' he says, nonplussed.

'hi,' changbin says from where he's leaning against the wall.

'sorry for waking you,' seungmin apologises, giving him a smile.

'am i dreaming?' hyunjin asks helplessly, wondering if he should pinch himself.

'are you saying you dream of us?' changbin says with a tired, teasing smile.

'why are you here?' hyunjin is still trying to wrap his head around this. it's far too early in the morning. 'how are you here?'

'airplane,' changbin responds and seungmin flaps a hand at him.

'can we come in?' seungmin asks.

'oh,' hyunjin says. 'right. yes.'

he shuts the door behind them and changbin dumps his backpack on the floor.

'seungminnie said your bed's quite big,' he tells a still befuddled hyunjin.

'we can sleep on the couch,' seungmin hastens to add.

'both of you?' hyunjin says, looking at his couch.

seungmin yawns. 'hyung doesn't take up much space,' he says afterwards.

'yah,' changbin complains.

hyunjin mulls things over in his mind.

it takes a little while.

'my bed,' he decides, 'at least for tonight, just. we can fit it my bed.'

'tight fit,' seungmin comments and changbin mumbles something undoubtedly crude next to him, if the judging expression seungmin's face takes on is any indication.

hyunjin decides he'll address everything else in the morning, and shoos them towards his bedroom.

hyunjin is the first awake the next morning, which he thinks is to be expected, and spends a bit longer than he thinks can reasonably be considered normal staring at seungmin and changbin sleeping in his bed.

it kind of breaks his mind. more sleep has not made it easier to accept.

(there's a fizzing in his veins that puts him on edge at the sight, both familiar and so foreign. he can't help but think of the previous times either of them were in a bed of his, this one or not, and he's not quite sure if that's a bad idea or not anymore.)

'it's a long weekend,' seungmin explains when he wakes up a bit later, hands fixed on his coffee mug. 'and then we organised things that we got an extra day off. so we're here for four days.'

'you just... decided to come here for a long weekend?' hyunjin says helplessly, and seungmin shrugs.

'it was hyung's idea. we missed you.'

'still,' hyunjin insists.

'one would think you didn't want us here,' comes changbin's gravelly voice from the bedroom doorway and hyunjin shakes his head.

'no, no, of course i do, always,' he says, and thinks maybe he's said too much. 'i'm just surprised, that all.'

'always, huh,' changbin muses. of course he caught that slip, hyunjin thinks ruefully.

seungmin looks at changbin over the top of his coffee mug with an expression hyunjin is pretty sure is his cautious, but curious to see how it plays out face, and hyunjin's what seungmin knows that he doesn't.

'okay, i'm going to do something,' changbin says, 'and i want you to tell me if it's not okay.'

'...okay?' hyunjin says warily and his breath and heart skip a beat when changbin is suddenly a lot closer than he was before.

he thinks he might have made a sound when changbin leans down, in the moment as changbin's lips hover a hairsbreadth away from his, but if he does it's swallowed when changbin kisses him.

there're a million thoughts whirling around hyunjin's head, and he thinks he hears a contented hum from seungmin, which sends about a million more into the fray, and he helplessly clings to the feel of changbin's lips against his to ground him.

it feels like forever and a split second until changbin pulls away, and hyunjin thinks his brain might be rebooting out of sheer confusion.

'was that okay?' changbin whispers and hyunjin takes a few moments to buffer.

'no,' he says.

changbin blinks, seeming taken aback, and he moves away. 'oh,' he replies, 'i'm sorry-'

'but-' hyunjin cuts him off, 'brush your teeth and try again?'

there's a few moments of silence, and then laughter is ricocheting off the walls.

'i see how it is,' changbin says with a wide grin. 'fine, i'll do that.' he glances at seungmin, and hyunjin's starting to think he might know where this is going.

he's not averse to the idea. not at all.

'can seungminnie try again for me in the meantime?' changbin asks and hyunjin smiles at seungmin.

'i'd like that,' he says and seungmin exhales shakily.

hyunjin doesn't want to think of logistics, not this time.

he thinks he can at least have this weekend.

**Author's Note:**

> this is nowhere near as emotionally impactful as the original, but i hope you enjoyed it regardless!


End file.
